When I had been pregnant for nearly a year (OK, it just felt like it), my biggest fear was not giving birth itself, fool that I was. No, it was my waters breaking in a shop. I have no idea why. It’s not as if people would either a) not know what was happening, as I was as big as a bison or b) judge me for it. Now I am a (slightly) more normal size, my fears have also reverted to some approximation of normal. And the worst thing that could now happen to me in a shop would be to lie back on a chair and have a facial, while an ex-boyfriend wanders past, and seeing the size of my pores thanks God under his breath that I married someone else.
It seems my fears are shared by my good friend Annie. But in the interests of Preferential Treatments, Product Placement’s not-that-celebrated series on spa treatments, she braved the Origins counter at John Lewis (admittedly just for the consultation part, but bear with me). And she came back, not just in one piece, but with cheeks as smooth as my offspring’s posterior. Well done, Annie. The nation salutes you. (Well I do, and maybe a couple of others.) Continue reading…
